A Successful Marriage

I’m derailing a bit from my day to write this, but when the urge to write strikes – it strikes.

My husband came across an article today and sent me the link on Facebook. You can read that post here. It’s one of those posts that gets you thinking. Or at least, it got me thinking…

Though our wedding day didn’t have the mishap that the couple in the story were unfortunate to have, Eric did show up late. I blame it on the fact he was playing video games all night the night before. I did worry a bit, but just slightly.

Anyway, for the past few years we’ve had a few people compliment us on our relationship and while I am thankful for each and every person that takes time to let us know that we are “#relationshipgoals”, (especially because we had a lot of negativity about us when we were getting married) I feel that sometimes we present ourselves as something other than what we are.

While I believe whole heartedly that we have a really good relationship, I also know that we have A LOT of days where we don’t exactly like each other. We always love each other, but there are days we just can’t see eye to eye no matter how hard we try. HOWEVER, we always know that we’ll make it through and given enough time we’ll figure it out. And honestly, most of our arguments are over the stupidest of things. Like, really stupid. And it’s usually because one or both of us are overwhelmed, stressed out and overtired.

In the article, the guy mentions that there is that one photo that’s been the motto of their marriage and I immediately thought of two of ours. I am super thankful for the individuals who took the photos of these interactions because they weren’t posed or planned – they were real life. Our life.

And I’ll be the first to admit, Eric does a much better job at helping us through the hard times (as you’ll see). Because I’m more emotional, I lean on him and his rational mind a lot. While I tend to drown in the pity pool, he is looking for all the ways out and he finds them. Rarely are our roles reversed, but when they are – I try to be the level headed one.

Anyway, to the two pictures that first came to mind after reading this article…

#1. IMG_5415

This is perhaps the greatest example.

This photo was taken after my father in law’s funeral. His burial spot is located a few feet from my grandpa. I struggled with Eric’s dad’s death a lot. It hit me hard and it hit like a ton of bricks. So I was emotional anyway. But being so close to my grandpa’s final resting place, I figured I should ‘pay my respects’ so to speak.

It was still hard to handle, and my grandpa had been gone for almost 20 years at this point. It’s just safe to say I cried pretty much the whole day.

This is where Eric put on a brave face and gave me the comfort I needed most. The simple act of putting his arm around my shoulder said what words could never even begin to express. And what hit me the most was that he was comforting me when it probably should’ve been the other way around.

But that’s what we are talking about right? Being there for each other in any cirumstance. And realizing that you’re not alone and there is someone behind you to help carry the burden – at least, they should be.

Example #2:

I honestly can’t even say what was ‘wrong’ with me. I don’t think I was even all that upset or anything. But I have days where I just feel overwhelmed and I feel I’m failing. It’s quite possible I was having similar feelings this day.

But guess who’s always there with a hug – even if we aren’t in the best place as a couple. This man is good at realizing when I just need a simple hug to get the chip off of my shoulder. And it’s amazing what that small hug can do!

I often wonder how I got so lucky and blessed. But I’m thankful for it. I also pray that I am a similar help for my husband. There’s not as many pictures of me comforting Eric, because he tends to fall apart in private. (He is a man)

But, I try to be there for him and to just LISTEN to him. Even though I am rarely able to fix his problems, a lot of times he just needs someone to listen to, someone to vent to and someone to be completely open with in a place free of judgement.

AND THAT my friends is HUGE. We all make mistakes, we’re all human, we’re all gonna screw something up. Or a few somethings…but when we take time to realize, as married couples, that we aren’t a single entity – your whole perspective changes.

Perhaps there are relationships that gel better than others and I think we are one of those lucky sets, but I also think it’s possible to have strong relationships no matter how well you ‘gel’. As long as we remember that we’re there for each other through EVERY trial that comes to us, no matter how big or small.


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