It’s All Wrong!

For a few days Shaylyn had been talking about a script she was writing, and then it turned out that other friends were also writing scripts. I was getting all sorts of confused as she started talking about so and so getting this part and so and so got that part. Then she says that so and so’s Mom was going to print off the scripts.

Yeah, I was not following what was going on at all. I thought her and her friends were just keeping themselves entertained and was like, ‘Okay, whatever.’ But as it turns out – it was all a project for school. Then it all made much more sense. I read through the script that was the ‘winner’ and it seemed very confusing to me – until I saw the actual performance. Then it made perfect sense.

Here’s the video. And there’s so much background noise it’s insane. I couldn’t believe how disrespectful these 6th graders were of their peers and I was more shocked that the teachers didn’t do more to stop all the random chatter. So beneath the video I have the script written out. Enjoy!

And I may be a little biased, but Shaylyn’s group had one of the better written plays and they were some of the better performers.

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/e2LLA9y67qg?version=3&hl=en_US

IT’S ALL WRONG

ACT ONE
NARRATOR: It was a hot day in Hollywood, California. Four actresses and a director were supposed to be filiming a dramatic TV show. It might not end up like you expect it to…
HEATHER: No! No! Cut! That was terrible! Jess, darling, you need to show more struggle. You are being kidnapped, not falling off your bed. Now get back on your mark. Scene one: take five. Action!
CAROL: Bella honey! Lights out! It’s almost midnight.
JESS: Okay. Just let me finish my report.
CAROL: Okay. Hurry.
(Bella gets up and turns off the light)
(Kidnapper walks into room and puts hand over Bella’s mouth)
(Muffled scream)
HEATHER: Cut!
WHITNEY: Okay. Just one quick question though.
HEATHER: Yes, darling. What is it?
WHITNEY: I was just wondering when our lunch break is. It’s almost 4:30 and we haven’t eaten at all yet.
HEATHER: Soon. We just need to finish up a few more scenes. Now Jess, this scene takes place the next morning. You are waking up, looking tired. Action!
(Bella wakes up)
JESS: Whatever you do, I will get back to my mom!
RO: Yeah, right. You are a naiive little 12 year old. There is no way you’ll even get upstairs.
JESS: I can do more than you think. And how do you know how old I am?
RO: You would be surprised at what I know.
JESS: Have you been watching me? You’re a stalker! You should be put in a mental instutition you freak!
RO: You are so naiive. You better get used to people. I am perfectly normal. Anyway, I am going to make me some breakfast. And you don’t get any because of what you said.
JESS: What? Why not?
RO:  Teaches you to think before you speak.
HEATHER: Cut! That was great. Now let’s get to the scene where Bella’s mom goes into her room the next morning.
CAROL: Bella! Sweetie! Wake up. You are going to be late for school.
(Opens door)
CAROL: Bella! Where are you? Oh, no! She’s gone.
(Pulls out cell phone and dials 911)
CAROL: Hello? Yes. My daughter is missing. She was in her room last night but now she isn’t anywhere to be found. And her computer is on. She always turns it off before going to bed. Please! Help me find my daughter!
HEATHER: Cut! Great Carol. Now we have two scenes left to film and then we will take a lunch break. On your marks! Action!
JESS: She’s gone. Good. I have to get out of here. Great. Zip ties! This should be easy.
(Breaks through zip ties)
JESS: Thank you YouTube.
(Snickers)
(Door opens)
JESS: Shoot. I knew I should have gone through the window well. Oh well, I’ll just go back down.
(Door slams loudly)
(Runs down the stairs)
RO: Hey! Are you trying to escape? Not on my watch!
(Window breaks)
JESS: Hey. I think I know this neighborhood. Where’s my phone? Ow! Crap! My leg hurts. I have to get back to my mom.
JESS: Mom! You need to get me to the hospital. I think I broke an arm and leg escaping from the kidnappers house.
CAROL: Okay. I’m just glad you’re safe. Get in the car.
HEATHER: Cut! Great. Now let’s take a lunch break. Meet at stage six in twenty minutes.
ACT TWO
NARRATOR: We return after the lunch break. Now is when things start to get a little out of hand…
HEATHER: Okay. Is everyone here? Ro? Jess? Carol? Whitney?
WHITNEY: Yes. We are all here. Now can we move along? I have another audition to get to.
HEATHER: Now don’t you use that tone with me. As far as I’m concerned, we will stay here until we are done filming this episode.
JESS: Yeah, Whitney. Show some respect.
(Ro and Jess giggle)
HEATHER: Okay. Be quiet! We are at the scene where Bella comes in with a wheel chair. Whitney, you are the main doctor who is assigned to take care of Bella.
WHITNEY:  Got it.
HEATHER: Okay. Get on your marks, action!
CAROL: Dr. Reynolds! We have a patient who claims she’s just been kidnapped. We need to run an x-ray over her right arm and left leg. Her mother thinks they might be broken.
WHITNEY: Get her into a room. The x-ray can wait. Go call 911 so they can get a description…
(Over speakerphone) Dr. Reynolds, you have a patient waiting for yo in the waiting room. Dr. Reynolds…
WHITNEY: Crap. I’m going to need you to take care of this one. I will be back as soon as I can.
CAROL: On it!
WHITNEY: Hi. My name is Doctor Reynolds. I hear you are having pain in your left leg. May I aske what may have hap….You’re a mime. This can’t be good. Okay. Are you good at drawing or reenacting things?
(Nods)
(Mime draws what ‘happened’)
WHITNEY: Okay. You got on your imaginary motorcycle, fell off, and the imaginary motorcycle fell on top of your leg. That seems reasonable. Dr. Laub! We need to get her to an x-ray room A.S.A.P!
CAROL: But we have another patient that came in before her that may have been kidnapped! Shouldn’t we take care of her first?
WHITNEY: What? Are you stupid? We need to take care of the mime! The kidnapped girl can wait! Now get the mime an x-ray, NOW!
CAROL: Okay, fine. You’re so bossy.
WHITNEY: Excuse me? This is a hospital! Of course I am bossy! First of all, I am your boss. And second of all, it saves lives!
CAROL: Okay!
WHITNEY: Wait! Cut! This is not working! This episode is supposed to be a dramatic story about a young kidnapped girl! Not a comedy with a mime faking an injury!
HEATHER: I added in a little bit of humor to make the episode less boring. I read through the other script last night and I almost fell asleep twice. I made some small readjustments. Nothing too big. I can only imagine watching it. Snooze!
WHITNEY: Nothing too big? What are you talking about? You changed the whole point of the story.
JESS: I agree with Whitney. The story is caught totally off guard.
HEATHER: Ro, do you agree with them? Does my version stink?
RO: No way! I agree with you. The other version of the story stunk.
HEATHER: I am glad somebody likes my idea. If you don’t appreciate the hard word that I do for this set and everyone on it, then you can get off of my stage!
WHITNEY: Are you crazy? Ro is the worst actress here and you know it. Are you willing to risk everything for a little disagreement?
HEATHER: Yes. But it isn’t everything. I can always hire another cast. Now get off my stage!
(Ro and Heather giggle)
THE END
NARRATOR: Now we come back one year later to see how things are going with the cast. Whitney ended up being casted for a new soap opera. Carol and Jess lived happily every after with their husbands and children. And Heather and Ro, well, let’s just say things didn’t end well for them…

(Cops chase Ro and Heather)

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