Truths For MATURE Humans…

I found this on (WARNING: there are a few risque pics there) and found it pretty funny, so I thought I’d be so kind and share it…

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
– So not applicable to me, but I still find it funny

2. Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
– I NEVER have those moments…. ::cough,cough::

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a GREAT need for a sarcasm font!
– Hallelujah!

5. How the HECK are you supposed to fold a FITTED sheet?
– I NEVER get it done the same way every time…

6. Was learning cursive REALLY necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m PRETTY sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
– This one totally cracked me up. And on a good day I DO know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least a little bit tired.

– This is me 110%!

10. Bad decisions make GOOD stories!

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
– Even though I don’t technically work I STILL have these moments. I had them when I did work as well….

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again!

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever!
– In my world it actually means, I will machine wash this – I won’t put it in the dryer and we’ll hope for the best…

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Oh crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

– I actually just have a different ringtone set for ‘those’ numbers…Mwahahaha!

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well!

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an ‘avoid ghetto’ routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on the first time that I saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
– Or find a better song on my mp3 player…Oh, wait – I don’t do those thing – I’m a safe driver….

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.– And that is where Lex gets it from…

25. How many times is it appropriate to say ‘What?’ before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

– This is so me…But I’m going deaf, so it’s not totally my fault…

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
– The person who originally wrote this must not have children. That being said this line really made me laugh!

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber each year?
– I still love you, Logan

29. There’s no worse feeling than the millisecond you’re sure you’re going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian I hate drivers. But no matter what the transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
– So sad to admit – but it’s true!

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
And thanks to my MIL – I own 2 of these 3 watches. I need to get on her about the 3rd!!!

32. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble finding their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone and Pinning The Tail On The Donkey – but I’d bet my last dollar everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, EVERY TIME!

– Hahahahaha!!!! This would be me! I’m one of those people that when I use an alarm, I actually have to put it far enough away so I actually get out of bed to turn it off – otherwise it’s just an annoyance and I slap it off and go right back to bed.

2 thoughts on “Truths For MATURE Humans…

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